Now, Say, "You're Sorry"!

 "Love lets the past die. It moves people to a new beginning WITHOUT settling the past. Love does not have to clear up all misunderstandings...Love prefers to tuck all the loose ends of past rights and wrongs in the bosom of forgiveness- and pushes us into a new start. Love is forgiveness." Phil Ryken

 I find it quite difficult to forgive the person who who sees no need for forgiveness- the person who has deeply hurt us and admits of no wrong doing. I attempt to justify my unforgiving attitude by telling myself I'm not obligated to forgive one who won't ask to be forgiven, one who is proud and unwilling to work things out, but then I gently hear, "Father forgive them for they know not what they do." We want justice and sometimes we think that forgiveness and justice are opposites. Forgiveness does not disregard justice, but rather purifies it. When we begin to love as Jesus loves, we begin to forgive as Jesus forgives. When we forgive we release ourselves from our prideful anger, and replace it with compassion and love for others. Forgiveness becomes justice uncontaminated by our sinful motives and revengeful spirit. Only through love and forgiveness can we move on without settling the past, or getting an apology or proving to the other person that we're right.  I've learned that forgiveness is not just a one time thing for each offense. It's often a constant, daily battle. There are some who have wronged me and I will likely never have closure, but it is a daily battle of forgiveness to avoid letting that seed of bitterness find a place in my heart. I pray I'm not that person in someone's life.


After writing this, someone contacted me to apologize and ask for forgiveness. So much time had passed and it would have been easy for her to forget and let it go. Though all the while I struggled not to be bitter toward her. She didn't know. There was no communication between us. When  I read the words she wrote, I had instant respect for her humility and desire to do the right thing and the struggle against bitterness toward her went away.

 To be a Christian means to forgive the inexcusable, because God has forgiven the inexcusable in me.” -–C. S. Lewis