I grew up in an Independent Fundamental Baptist church. The kind of church where the women wore dresses, the men wore suits, and the pastor pounded the pulpit and preached out of a King James Bible. Our music choices were classical, Majesty Music, Wilds,etc. (the etc. doesn't include much more). I wasn't allowed to go to movies or even rent them. I don't think I owned a pair of pants until after I graduated from high school. It was ok for other people to violate these unspoken rules, because they didn't know better. I did. I remember being at a sledding activity one winter.( I grew up in MI). I didn't really want to go, but missing a church activity was not an option. I was a bit of a nerd anyway, but wearing sweat pants under my culottes was just too much even for me. I remember sitting in the bus in my culottes and a girl wearing jeans came up to me (she was obviously a visitor). She asked me why we wore shorts in the winter. This was followed by an awkward silence and then I said it was because we felt like they were more modest than pants. She accepted my answer and walked away. I felt so stupid telling her that, but that was what they told me. I couldn't tell her the truth. "They aren't shorts, they're culottes. My parents make me wear them because if I didn't they would receive criticism from the church!" , so I just went with the church answer. I don't think that girl ever came back. When I was dating my husband, we went to the lake one afternoon when he came to visit. I got in big trouble for wearing shorts to the lake. Not really because I was wearing shorts, but more importantly a family from our church lived at the lake and they might see me. The extent of my teenage rebellion. (actually I was 21 at the time) There was so much emphasis on separation from the world and looking like a Christian and being a good testimony but it went too far. I know the church meant well, but I think they did more to drive people away from Christianity than to draw them in. We made it look so unappealing. We made it look like if you choose Christ you had to give up movies, music, and a lot of other fun things, and if that wasn't bad enough, you also had to wear culottes! We had a testimony, but I don't think it was a good one. I think people either felt sorry for us or made fun of us. Teenage girls walking around town dressed like old ladies, how could anyone not make fun of that! I really didn't like my church for these reasons and so many more that I won't get into. I wish that my parents would have moved away. It makes me sad that a church took good things to an extreme and made it legalistic. I know they had good motives and I hold nothing against them.
When my husband and I got married and started looking for our own church we actually looked for a church similar to what I just described. I know that doesn't make any sense. Maybe it's like when a person leaves an abusive relationship only to go to another abusive relationship. I think we were convinced that what we grew up with was right and anything else was wrong. We were really afraid of being in a bad church. Neither of us grew up learning how to think for ourselves. Our standards were decided for us, by our parents and then by BJ. I was taught to trust the pastor, to do things the way he did them, that his way was the right way and not to question authority. We visited a lot of churches and many times we walked in, saw drums, turned around and walked out. We didn't even give them a chance because we wanted a church with high music standards like we had growing up. We knew that music was the first thing that went bad in a church. Churches with drums meant emotional, empty music and fifteen minute motivational speaches about how we should all love each other. Stop laughing. We eventually moved to SC where we fell in love with a wonderful church and can't imagine going anywhere else. I remember going to one of our first church activities. It was summertime and so hot. I was very surprised that a lot of the ladies had shorts on, and that no one was looking at them with that judgmental stare I knew so well. I thought shorts were just something you wore on vacation or when you were sure no one from church would see you. I started going to Ladies Bible Study. I felt really dressed up when I got there and most of the ladies had jeans on. "Really? it's ok to wear pants... in church!" Again, everyone was so nice to each other. The ladies in skirts and dresses had no bad feelings toward the ladies in pants.
As I mentioned before we were not fans of any type of CCM. It repulsed me. I would always turn the volume down when it was on tv. The sound of it bothered me and I wanted nothing to do with it. We started noticing that a lot of our Christian FB friends liked certain CCM groups. Part of me was sad that so many Christians were letting worldliness creep into their hearts through music. Part of me noticed that these were strong Christians for which I had great respect. Maybe it was good music. I didn't know. One of my friends posted a song on his FB page. It was Casting Crowns singing "Living He Loved Me". For the first time I listened to it with an open mind. It was beautiful and it gave God glory. Something changed in me. That person was not offending the weaker Christian, he was encouraging me to have an open mind and proving to me that not all CCM is full of empty words. My pastor preached a message about music, but I was sick that Sunday. I heard some talk of a controversial sermon regarding music, so of course, I wanted to hear to it. My children were quiet enough for me to listen to it on my computer one afternoon. I had heard a lot of preaching about music, but nothing like this. My pastor never said if he listened to CCM or not. He was very clever not to give me the option of following his preference. He made me think for myself. After 30 years of listening to the same music, I was getting bored. It was all starting to sound the same. I started listening to the radio and I borrowed some cds from a friend. Remember I had never been exposed to this type of music before. Some of it I didn't like, but some of it I loved. I love Chris Tomlin's song "Indescribable" and Laura Story's "Blessings". Do you have any idea what it's like to listen to a whole new kind of music that you've never heard? It's amazing! It awakened something inside my soul. It made me feel alive and free.
I came from an environment where Christianity looked like it was all about giving up a lot of fun things and dressing really strange. That is not Christianity; that's religion. That was trying to do things to earn God's love. God can not love us any more or any less. His love is perfect. He loves us just the way we are. We don't have to give up anything. I must warn you though, the Gospel will change every area of your life. You will give up things, but it won't be because you have to, it will be because you want to.
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