One of the reasons I married Jason was because I saw how great he was with kids and I knew he would make a good dad some day. He spends one on one time with our kids even if it's a simple thing like getting the oil changed or buying groceries. Sometimes he takes them out for a treat or has lunch with Faith at school. When he disciplines them he spends a lot of time talking to them even if it means his dinner is getting cold. He takes time to play with them almost every night even though sometimes he's so tired. I think maybe dads are just different now than they use to be. I don't remember ever doing anything one on one with either of my parents. I hope that his relationship with each of the kids just gets stronger as they get older. Jason reminds me that I need to spend quality time with the kids, playing games, listening to their stories and being interested in their lives. Sometimes I'm with the kids all day, but I haven't spent any time with them.
Faith was such an answer to prayer. She changed my life. No matter how many kids you have, there's nothing like holding your firstborn for the first time. Faith isn't very much like me, because of that she has a lot of qualities that I really admire, of course, she has no idea. My weaknesses are her strengths. I love how she's not intimidated by anyone. She can go up to anyone and talk to them. I can't do that. She inspires me, and I'm sure has influenced me to be more friendly to the people in my life. She loves to learn and has a lot of questions. If I don't know the answers we look them up and learn together. She loves math and science. She mostly plays with boys, and is probably the only girl in her class with a Spiderman lunch box. I like that she is so comfortable with who she is. I hope she holds onto that as long as possible. I admire a lot of things about her.
I actually cried when I found out Brady was a boy. I don't have any brothers, never really had any guy friends and didn't have a very close relationship with my dad. I only dated for two years before I met Jason. I didn't think I could raise a boy successfully. I thought I wouldn't know what to do with a boy. I was planning on having three girls. I was comfortable with that. It was a very hard pregnancy as far as the sickness and he was a really difficult baby for me to take care of. I struggled with depression and it took me a long time to bond with him. He is the most like me and probably the one I have the strongest bond with now. He is very lovable, happy, sweet,and observant but he struggles with the same things I do. He has such a hard time talking to people. I know exactly what is going on in his head. It's painful for me to watch as I relive parts of my childhood. He likes this girl at the Y. She's twenty. He can not talk to her even though she is one his favorite people. He can't keep from smiling if we mention her name, and Jason likes to tease him. Last week Brady got mad at me because he wanted me to call her and ask her to pick him up in her car and I wouldn't. I'll set up play dates with girls his own age, but if he wants to go out with a twenty year old he has to make the call himself. I'm thankful he's around people a lot more than I was and the people he is around are more encouraging and patient than the ones I grew up with. He teaches me that I need to overcome things so I can be a better example and encouragement to him.
Kasey is our girly one. I guess she's like me in that way. I was incredibly overwhelmed when I found out about her. Brady was only ten months old and had just started sleeping through the night. I was up with him every two hours for ten months! The hope that the next night would be the one where he would finally sleep was all that kept me going. I wanted three kids, but I did not feel ready for her. It took me a while to get use to the idea. She was a much easier baby and Jason and I finally had a good system down. I wouldn't have been able to handle it otherwise. She has a very expressive face and I love watching people smile just looking at her. I like that she brings joy to people. There was an older man sitting on the couch at the Y one day. Kasey went right up to him, climbed up on his lap and started talking to him. He smiled and talked to her. She reminded him of his grand daughter. She's very affectionate and happy and excited to see everyone. Kasey teaches me to be more expressive and make people feel loved. She's the one I'm going to get to do all the girly things with.
Cailen is very special to me because I didn't think we would have more than three kids. I knew Jason only wanted one or two so I was thankful to have three, and there was no way I was going to ask for another. After Kasey was born I was hoping to feel like our family was complete, but I didn't. I actually prayed that God would take that desire away from me. I thought it would be easier for God to change my mind than Jason's. The more I prayed for the desire to go away the stronger it became. It wasn't just for another child but specifically for a boy. I started praying that we would feel the same way about it in either direction. I finally had to talk to Jason about it because I knew it was of God. I told him I how I had been praying and what God was doing in my heart. I just asked him to pray and have an open mind about it. That was all the discussion. I couldn't stop smiling when I found about Cailen and that he was a boy. Exactly what I prayed for. He's usually so happy and content. He's been the easiest of all our children. Cailen teaches me that when we think God has already given us too much, He gives us more.
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