I love my church, but often I feel like an outsider as I sit in the back row on Sundays. Even though everyone is so friendly, I feel like I can't really connect with them. When we first started coming to church, we were part of a group of four families that hung out together, but two of them moved away and no one really replaced them. There are probably three people in the church that I really feel I've connected with after going there for almost 8 years. I know this is mostly my fault because I'm not able to go except on Sundays and even then I miss often due to sick kids and work schedules. I love listening to my pastor preach though! I can't get enough. It's as though I'm starved for it and I'm constantly learning something new or being reminded of old things I shouldn't have forgotten.
I grew up being in church whenever the doors were open and we were involved in everything. My parents thought they were doing the right things by following the leadership of their pastor. Being involved in the church was equal to serving God, and somewhere in there church became an idol. I struggle so much with balance between church and family. I don't want to swing the other direction and make building relationships with my family an idol. I want to be more involved in the extra things at church but not at the expense of my family, but I think it would make me feel more a part of the church.
Last Sunday morning my pastor preached a message on edification. I thought it strange he felt like that was something our church needed to hear. I knew I needed to work on that, but figured everyone else was doing a great job at it. There's Wednesday night prayer meeting, book study, prayer breakfasts, round tripper, fellowships, small group on Sunday mornings, ladies Bible study, the SRBC runners page, the couponing page, the ladies or SRBC page, Mommy and Me and the list goes on. It was an excellent message about how important it is to fellowship with other people within the church by being involved in these areas. I was thinking about how we respond to a new family visiting. We go out of our way to talk to them and make them feel welcome, we invite them to our house, we set up play dates with our kids so we can visit, we encourage them to go to different activities going on in the church. Then I thought about how we interact with a family that has been there for years- much differently.
I asked the ladies in the church to pray for me and revealed my struggle to find balance. I was not surprised that there were others who struggled with feeling disconnected in church and I was not surprised by all the encouragement and support and words of wisdom I received from them. I was surprised by one of the older ladies in the church who sent me a private message. She's someone who's been there a long time and everyone knows her. She said sometimes she feels like a stranger. She said she doesn't feel like she's connecting with people and she's really tried. We go to church and smile at people and make small talk, but sometimes we don't love them enough to get involved. There's a lot I need to work on.
This is some of the sweet advice the ladies in my church gave me-
Sometimes it's a season of life thing, and you can't be as involved as you would like.
Pick one church activity and commit to it. It doesn't have to be all or nothing.
Take advantage of times when your whole family can be together, even if it means missing a church
activity.
Don't schedule every minute of your life by being involved in too many various activities.
You are rearing future families not just kids.
Church is a priority and we should go with grateful hearts, not out of duty.
Don't choose church OR family, do church AS a family for the right reasons.
Go faithfully with your children on Sundays. Make your kids go to church, you make them go to school.
Limit your kid's outside activities. Keep life simple.
It's never too late to work on parent/ child relationships. Parents feel regret when their kids are grown
and they see their mistakes. It starts with forgiveness.
This is what I learned-
A lot of people in the church struggle with finding balance between church involvement and family.
There are people in the church that have been members for a long time, look happy when you see
them every Sunday, and feel like an outsider.
Some love the preaching and are learning and growing, but they don't feel like they really fit in.
I know there are some people in my church that love me and are praying for me and I know they mean it.
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