Transparancy

I think sometimes in the name of being an encouragement we can have the opposite effect.  We post pictures and write blogs about our well behaved, beautifully dressed children.  We never complain and always have a positive perspective on everything. We tell people we don't have it all together, but social media speaks louder than words. I've found the people that have been the greatest encouragement to me have been those who relate to my struggles and deficiencies. We often demand transparency in others but pride prevents us from demonstrating that quality in our own lives.

Healing in His Wings

 Malachi 4:2-But for you who fear my name, the sun of righteousness shall rise with healing in its wings. You shall go out leaping like calves from the stall.

This verse is a prophecy about the coming Messiah. The word translated to wings is also the same word as tassels. The Jewish people wore tassels on the hems of their garments. Jesus would have worn that type of garment. The lady with the issue of blood that touched the hem of His garment to be healed knew the prophecy from Malachi and recognized Jesus as the Messiah and knew He would have healing in his wings- tassels- hem of His garment. That's the faith that healed her. The faith that He was the Messiah.

Just Look at Me and Listen

My eleven year old daughter has to get her blood drawn. I listen as she screams, "Anything but this! No, please don't! I just want it to be a normal day!" I think,"she doesn't know what real suffering is."  I tell her it's for her good. I try to explain it to her. I tell her it will happen so fast. It's only a few seconds of her life. I'm frustrated that she won't look at me. She won't hear what I'm trying to say to her. Her eyes are on the needle and her thoughts on the anticipation of pain. Based on her life experience and eleven year old knowledge of the world, getting a shot is the worst thing that can happen to her.

I think about my fears- cancer, terrorism, death of a child, Christian persecution. "Lord, please anything but this! Make it stop. The suffering is too great!" He smiles at me with compassion and thinks, "Child, you don't know what real suffering is. You don't understand how this all works together for your good." He says, "Yes, there will be pain, but the suffering is so short compared to eternity." He is frustrated that I won't keep my eyes on Him. "Why won't you listen to my words and find comfort?"

I Love You More Than Chocolate- My Experience With Lent

I always thought lent was a predominately Catholic observance done in order gain favor with God. I thought of it as a "work of righteousness".   I was actually brought up around spiritual leaders who made fun of those with the ashes on their foreheads and those who participated in Lent. After moving down South I learned that other Christian denominations participated, but still didn't really know what it meant. It seems like most people give up chocolate or FB. I wondered if it was more of an act of self control and will power or if it could be a sacrifice offering to God done out of love.  The more I researched it and observed it in people I knew the more it weighed on my heart to observe it myself. I love Easter. It's the holiest of all holidays. All of Christianity rests on the resurrection. I wanted to celebrate Easter in a deeper more worshipful way. Maybe participating in Lent was that way. I asked questions and talked to people and did research on line to figure out how Lent could be worship. I had 2 problems standing in my way. 1. If people knew that I was participating I would become self righteous and 2. If I give something up I would likely replace it with something else just as binding.  I thought this was really beautiful -" the act of giving up will naturally cause you to go to God when you face temptation, whether it be money, time, or food. Think about something binding YOU. Commit to change and when you are tempted, ask God to remove the temptation and trust in the Holy Spirit. It's a beautiful way to lean on God and deny self."

It's Feb 18. The traditional first day of Lent. I want to do this and God has been laying this on my heart for two years and He gave me not only one, but two things to give up. I want to commit, but I'm afraid I won't be able to do it. God gave me His life and daily grace and if I can't give these two things up for a time, how weak I am.

I'm a week in. I'm struggling today thinking about how much longer I have. It's kind of like running a marathon without training for it. It's something that seems impossible and in fact I know it is because I've tried on my own relying on will power and determination to give these things up and failed. My purpose is to give up these two things as a sacrifice. For me, this is a time of fasting, repentance, moderation, self reflection and worship. I've been disciplined to get up earlier, before 5 to devote more time to read Scripture, but I'm also trying let the Spirit lead rather than try to lead the Spirit. It would be typical for me to schedule time for worship and then get frustrated when the feelings weren't there. I've found myself worshiping in unusual places. The zumba instructor ended the class with "Overwhelmed" and yes, I worshiped in zumba class. I also felt led to read the Gospels.

I'm really thinking about adding these 2 things back into my life. It seems like giving them up has been very self centered. It's been good for me to give them up for a time because there was a lack of self control and a habitual dependence but I don't see how it's drawing me closer to God.  I have been getting up earlier to have more time for Scripture reading and I do feel like that is preparing me for Easter. I just finished reading the book of Matthew and I've been reading a lot of lent centered devotionals on line. 

I felt very frustrated and only lasted a week and a half. I feel like the disciples who couldn't even stay awake as Jesus prayed in the Garden. I still want to practice some form of Lent to prepare my heart for Easter, but I'm not sure how. I've been studying Acts and there were some Christian Jews who still participated in the Old Testament traditions after their conversion and it was okay for them to do it. In fact, being converted probably gave the traditions more meaning and they did it out of love, but they were considered weaker brothers because they needed them. I'm not sure what to take away from my experience.

Children in Heaven

Sometimes it makes me sad to think that there will be no babies and little children in Heaven not to say that babies and children don't go to Heaven when they die, but we will be ageless and there will be no marriage or reproduction. I believe that the things of this world are shadows of more perfect things to come. God loved to use object lessons in the Old Testament to prepare the people for Christ and the new covenant and when Jesus came He spoke in parables to teach the people of greater spiritual meaning. Marriage is a picture of Christ's relationship with the church. It's something earthly we can understand that points to something greater. Obviously, we have to have children so the human race doesn't die off, but we didn't have to have a loving, nurturing relationship with them. Why did God choose that for us? Maybe only to teach us more about His love for us. Maybe our children are a great object lesson. Imagine the relationship between God and Adam and Eve before the fall. Imagine how they walked and talked to each other and all the questions they had for their creator as He parented them. Quite often when new parents are asked what God has taught them with the arrival of their first baby they will say they understand God's love so much more. There is suffering to bring them life. There is sacrificial love. Children don't understand the extent of the love of the parents. It breaks the parents heart to correct the child, but the child sees it as cruel and unfair. Many of the decisions of the parents are based on the child's needs and wants. Parents love watching their children grow and experience new things. Parents love to give gifts and relish in the anticipation of giving them. There is so much that points to the love of Christ toward us. Imagine if we could love without selfishness, a double standard or regret. Imagine children who could understand the extent of our love with gratitude, humility and obedience. That's what the parent/ child relationship will be like in Heaven.