Inspiring Courage

 "There are two ways of spreading light: to be the candle or the light that reflects it."

The American Heritage Dictionary defines the word encourage - "to inspire with hope, courage or confidence." To be an encouragement is to inspire courage! We can inspire courage in the lives of the people around us. Courage to do something they never thought they could, courage to be themselves, courage to speak up, or perform acts of kindness.

Sometimes everything is going well and one person says the wrong thing and somehow it erases all the good. It can go the other way too. Sometimes everything is going wrong and one person says the right thing and it somehow erases all the bad. Proverbs 15:23 says, "A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pictures of silver.", and Proverbs 25:11 says, " to make an apt answer is joy to a man, and a word in season, how good it is!" We just don't know what is going on in the lives of those we have contact with every day. We don't know how much someone might need that little word of encouragement. To be able to say just the right thing at just the right time to just the right person is of great value.

I ran a 5K last weekend with a friend. It was her first race and it was an amazing experience for her. But it was an amazing experience for me too! I've done races before but this was the best one I've ever done, because this time, it wasn't about me. She started running in the summer. The most difficult time to run even for experienced runners. I wanted her to succeed. I wanted her to get to that point where it becomes more than just weight loss because running is so much more than exercise and I wanted her to experience that. The discipline a person learns while running carries over into other parts of their lives. I was privileged to run with her a few times in the beginning. She struggled, but got through it. I was proud of her, but also worried that she would quit. Too many people get really excited about exercising and getting healthier and then they loose their enthusiasm when they realize how difficult it is. I prayed for her often. I knew if she could just stick with the running schedule she would be able to run a 5K in a couple months. Back in July I began to envision how amazing it would be for her to successfully run a race and cross that finish line. I wanted to be with her when she did it. I believed she could do it far before she did. Imagining that day motivated me to encourage and pray for her more because I wanted her to have that experience. Early in her training, she went away for a couple of weeks. I was really concerned she would loose her momentum when she got back. I knew it was hard for her, but she got right back to it. Philippians 4:13 says," I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." God gives us strength to accomplish His will. We know that God wants us to live healthy lives, therefore He will give us what we need to be able to do that. I'm thankful God chose to use me as a tool because it brought me joy to be apart of what God was doing in her life. He could have picked anyone, but He picked me! I believe God created me to be an encouragement. We have the greatest satisfaction when we do what we are created to do. I didn't give up anything to run with her. I don't think I sacrificed a single thing. I'm thankful she let me run with her because I had been dreaming of that moment longer than she had! It isn't about her accomplishment or my encouragement. It's about the beauty of God using Christians to help other Christians live a more Godly life. To God be the glory! The 5K I ran in 43 minutes will always be more memorable than the one I ran in 26 minutes, because I was a part of something greater than myself.

Encouragers need encouragement too. There are things I wouldn't be able to do if there wasn't someone encouraging me. Sometimes Satan tells us lies to prevent us from being productive Christians and we need someone reminding us of the truth. When I get discouraged, I don't need kind words from a lot of people, just one- if it's the right one. The encouragers in my life have given me courage and confidence to be the person God created me to be. I consider these friends as gifts from God and I cherish them. We all doubt ourselves and God, at times and need encouragement. Be a person who inspires courage. Be that one person someone needs!

"The truly successful people are those who help others succeed."-Chapman

Changing Views on Idolatry

    When I was a kid idolatry was praying to statues. I didn't understand how that was applicable to me, because that was only something people in other countries did. I figured I was good on this one. It was just not something I struggled with.

     When I was a teen, I understood it to mean loving anything more than God. So, if I spent my time watching tv instead of reading my Bible, was that idolatry? I was confused. I felt like if I chose to do anything other than read my Bible, pray, or go to church, I was choosing something other than God and It was idolatry. It didn't seem right. I was worried about loving people too much or enjoying things or abilities too much because I was afraid God would take those things or people away. I always heard about how God is a jealous God.

    When I was reading Lutzer's book I came across this quote, "A person who will not get beyond his bitterness is actually an idolater...What would it take for you to turn away from God?...Could it be that insisting on immediate justice for an offense means more to you than fellowship with God?" Choosing not to forgive is idolatry because it's putting something before your relationship with God. The book was about forgiveness, but this quote about idolatry was eye opening for me. It was not necessarily the intensity of my love or enjoyment of things; it was about putting something above my relationship with God. So, it's good to love people and enjoy things as long as it doesn't hurt my relationship with God. If I'm tempted to overindulge in something and I give in, I'm putting that thing above being right with God. If I have a good friendship with someone and it becomes unhealthy and I continue with it, it's idolatry because it hurts my relationship with God. I started out thinking that I didn't struggle with idolatry at all and I'm finding out that I deal with it daily. God wants us to love and be attached to people and He wants us to enjoy and appreciate our things and abilities.

"Command those who are rich in this present age not to be haughty, nor to trust in uncertain riches but in the living God, who gives us all things to enjoy." 1 Timothy 6:17

Spear Throwers

"To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you."


     I just finished reading, "When You've Been Wronged" by Erwin Lutzer. The author wrote about a group of people he referred to as spear throwers. I've encountered many of these people in my life. We know we should ask for forgiveness and we know we should forgive those who ask us, but what about the people that hurt us and don't acknowledge they did any wrong. How can we forgive them? That's what I struggled with for years. I would take responsibility for the wrong I did, but they would respond with " I accept your apology" (which is far easier to say than I forgive you) or "I'm sorry you were hurt by what I did or said, but...". (Not exactly an apology) So how do you move on? I was trying to forgive, but the relationship was not restored and the other person would not admit any wrong doing. So I would let go of the anger the best I could and continue the relationship as if nothing had happened only to be hurt again and continue the cycle. The only way to have a good relationship with spear throwers is for you to take all the blame and do everything on their terms. So I have distanced my self from some of the people in my life because I know there will never be complete reconciliation. That doesn't mean I stay angry and avoid them. It means there will probably never be a real friendship unless they humble themselves and ask for forgiveness which I should always be ready to give. It means I show kindness to them when I do see them and it means I'm happy for them when good things come into their life.

     A person can't restore a relationship with a spear thrower because "They are not bound by fairness, truthfulness, decency, or respect. You can't reason with them, you can't meet them on a level playing field."  Lutzer says it's ok to set up boundaries for people that continually sow discord in your life. Sometimes it's hard for me to differentiate between setting up healthy boundaries and trying to avoid the person because I haven't completely forgiven them. For me, the test of true forgiveness is how I react to hearing news about them. Am I happy when something good happens to them or do I think they don't deserve it? When I hear that they are struggling with their marriage, do I secretly smile or do I pray for them? Pray that I will have wisdom to know how much distance there needs to be and that I will learn what God wants to teach me through their lives.

"You will know that forgiveness has begun when you recall those who hurt you and feel the power to wish them well."

A Blessing Or A Lesson

"God doesn't give you the people you want, He gives you the people you need. To help you, to hurt you, to leave you, to love you and make you the person you were meant to be."

   I read this quote a couple weeks ago and I've been thinking about the different types of people God has graciously put into my life. I had the most wonderful room mates my first year of college. I had a really hard time being so far from home and being in a new place that I had only visited once. It was very overwhelming. The senior took time to walk around campus with me just so I could get familiar with my new surroundings. It meant so much to me that she did that. I'm sure there were many other things she would rather have been doing. The sophomore is now my sister in law and the freshman was so much fun and such a good friend for me. They were exceptional roommates and the perfect people for me to live with at that time. I didn't know how good I had it. They taught me to accept people just the way they are and how much it can mean to a person to just give them a little of your time. They were all blessings to me.
     My last year of college I was in was in the hall leaders room. (The previous year, I accumulated 130 demerits, 20 away from being expelled. I was obviously a troubled kid who needed some extra guidance.) On the way to my last exam on the last day of my college career, she insisted on walking with me. It was a 10 minute walk; a very long 10 minute walk. She asked me to forgive her for not giving me more demerits. I guess she felt like she let me down somehow and needed to clear her conscience. I learned from her that sometimes there are more important things than being right. No good would have come out of me arguing with her. I knew I would probably never see her again and was not returning to school. Instead I just quietly listened to her and forgave her. It's hard to ask someone for forgiveness and I'm sure she thought she was doing the right thing. Looking back, I feel sorry for her. She taught me that it's more important to have a right relationship with someone than to win an argument. That's a very important lesson to learn. This person was a lesson for me.

"Some people come into your life as blessings and others come into your life as lessons." I hope I haven't been a lesson to too many people, not doubt there have been some, probably more than I would care to know.

Superstition vs Prayer

 Superstition is believing that the outcome of a certain event is influenced by faith in one's action. What is prayer then? Prayer is communicating with God. It is having faith that God, rather than one's action will influence a certain event in a way that fulfills His will. It is asking God to do what's best. Prayer is when we humble ourselves and ask God to do His will rather than our own.

  I'm much better than I was, but I have a real fear of driving. I am quite comfortable driving to familiar places, but I'm usually too afraid to venture out of my comfort zone. When I was first married, I didn't drive at all.  It was a paralyzing, talk-show worthy kind of fear.  I got in the habit of praying for safety every time I got into the car to drive. I became convinced that if I didn't pray I was sure to get into a car accident. Some of you reading this will probably see this as classic OCD, but I see it as trying to be in control. I took a good thing and turned it into a compulsive superstitious ritual. I think this is just another example of trying to earn God's love. If I pray, God will love me and keep me safe; if I forget, He turns His back on me and I'm on my own. I was not praying out of love for God and I was trusting my prayer instead of God. I was praying very selfishly. It became wrong on so many levels. That's what Satan likes to do. Very subtly take something good in our lives and turn it into something bad. There is nothing I can do or not do to make God love me any more or any less. Once I realized what I was doing I was able to let go of it and trust God. Is it even biblical to pray for safety? Maybe God doesn't want me to be safe. Maybe He wants me to break down on the side of the road or get into an accident. We do learn a lot more when things don't go as planned. Isaiah 45:7 "I form the light and create darkness, I make the well-being and create calamity, I am the Lord who does all these things." God doesn't create moral evil, but He creates calamity. A calamity defined by the Websters dictionary is "A state of deep distress or misery caused by major misfortune or loss. A disastrous event marked by great loss and lasting distress and suffering."  Sometimes it is God's will for us to go through calamity. Sometimes God wants bad things to happen to good people. Now I pray that I will pay attention and have good judgment and not be distracted. I pray for confidence and wisdom and the ability to think clearly if something does happen. It's more biblical to pray that God's will be done and that I will respond in a way that glorifies Him and that I learn what He wants me to learn.

"The value of consistent prayer is not that He will hear us, but that we will hear Him."-William McGill

Random Thoughts About Forgiveness

 Ephesians 5:31-32 "Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. And be kind to one another, even as God in Christ forgave you."

What is involved in forgiveness? How have I sinned against God? Does the Bible say if I don't forgive others I loose my salvation? Do we have to forgive people that have done horrible things?

What is involved in forgiveness?
      Forgiveness is not forgetting and it's not always foregoing justice. It's holding nothing against the person who has wronged you. It it letting go of the anger and resentment you have towards them and restoring the relationship if it's possible.

How have I sinned against God?
     James 2:10 "For whoever shall keep the whole law, and yet stumble in one point is guilty of all. "If there was a small amount of poison in a glass of water, it would still be contaminated. If we break any of the law we sin against God. God knows it's impossible for us to keep the law no matter how hard we try. The purpose if it is to reveal to us our sinfulness and show us how much we need Christ.  Psalm 51:4 is a prayer of David to God about his repentance from sinning against Uriah and Bathsheba. "Against you, you only have I sinned, and done this evil in your sight." Joseph didn't sin with Potifer's wife because he couldn't sin against God. We do sin against others, but the greatest offense is against God.

Does the Bible say that if we don't forgive someone God will not forgive us and we will loose our salvation?
     Matthew 6:14-15 "For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will you Father forgive your trespasses." This verse isn't talking about loosing your salvation if you don't forgive someone. There are two types of forgiveness. The first is when Jesus died on the cross. He provided the justification that takes place immediately the moment of salvation. He forgave us of all our sins, past, present, and future. He casts them as far as the east is from the west. He looks at us through the righteousness of His son. No one can pluck us out of His hand. This verse is talking about the other type of forgiveness. If our children sin against us they are still our children. Nothing can change that. But the intimacy of our fellowship with them is broken and isn't restored until we forgive them. When we sin against God our intimacy with Him is broken until we repent and He forgives us. If I'm holding bitterness in my heart toward someone, my relationship with that person and my relationship with God need to be restored through forgiveness.

Do we have to forgive people that do really horrible things?
     God commands us to love others as ourselves.(Matt. 22:37-40) Yes, I do think God wants us to forgive others for horrible things done against us. I also think that is a really hard thing to do, but God will give us the grace to do it. I know when I'm struggling with forgiving someone my relationship with God is not what it should be.  Jesus lived a perfect life, He did a lot of good for others, He forgave those who murdered Him, and he forgave me. It's all about grace and understanding our own sinfulness and how much we were forgiven.

Romans 5:7-9 "For scarcely for a righteous man will one die, yet perhaps for a good man someone would even dare to die. But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Much more then, having now been justified by His blood, we shall be saved from wrath through Him."

""We must be willing to endure and love the damaged and damaging personalities who make us suffer."-Chapell
"The understanding that our deepest knowing of the One who bore the cross for us in some measure depends on our own cross bearing of the miseries of this world and even of the miserableness of others."-Luther

Really, Dr. Bob?

     "It's a sin to do less than your best" and "Abstain from all appearance of evil". These are things I heard a lot growing up. These things caused me to feel constant guilt and took away all my freedom. I'm not bitter about my past, I'm just really excited about what I'm learning now!

     "It is a sin to do less than your best." When I was a kid, I actually thought this was a Bible verse, but it's just something Dr. Bob said a long time ago. I always associated it with 1 Corinthians 10:31 "Whether therefore you eat or drink or whatsoever you do, do all to the glory of God." and Ecclesiastes 9:10 "Whatsoever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might."  There is a difference between doing my best and doing something for God's glory. Doing something for God's glory is considering Him in everything I do and keeping Him always in my thoughts. God knows my limits and that I can't do my best in every area of my life all the time, but He does expect me to give Him glory in everything I do. God does not want me to do my best at cleaning my house when I need to take care of a sick child. I don't think I'm sinning by doing less than my best at cleaning my house in this situation, but I do think I am glorifying God with my actions. I use to think Ecclesiastes 9:10 meant that Christians should do everything to the best of their ability. But now I think this verse means we should enjoy life and good health while we have it. Live in the moment. Give it all you've got, because life will soon be over.  I know I've mentioned this before, but I use to feel guilty if I didn't take the time to perfectly fold the laundry, because of this verse and because if I didn't do my best it was sin. I felt like I had to keep my house perfectly clean all the time and play with the kids all the time and spend time with my husband all the time. It was really frustrating trying to do something impossible thinking I was sinning when I couldn't do my best in every area of my life. Whenever I heard this verse quoted (whatsoever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might) I got the impression that it was suppose to motivate me to do my best at everything, but trying to live up to this expectation led to constant guilt and feelings that I was letting God down. And now I find out it doesn't even mean what I thought it did!

     "Abstain from all appearance of evil" is 1 Thessalonians 5:22 in the KJV. It's actually quite different in the ESV "Abstain from any form of evil." I think this verse is often misinterpreted in fundamental churches.  I use to think that this meant that I shouldn't do anything that could be perceived as evil to anyone else, but if I can't do anything that appears evil to anyone else I give up all my freedom and live in slavery.  I give up all my Christian liberty and live by everyone's convictions because I can't do anything that might seem bad to anyone else. This is not a very fun way to live. I was constantly worrying about what other people were thinking. If I did something really bad like rent a movie, I worried that someone might see me. The verse actually says to stay away from evil in whatever form it appears. To avoid all things that are clearly sin, is more consistent with other Scripture.

     I actually find it very exciting learning the meaning of these familiar verses in the right context. Christianity isn't as bad as I thought it was ;)

It's All a Bunch of Lies

     Sometimes we hear a lie so much that we start to believe it's true. I think Satan wants us to believe lies about ourselves so that we become ineffective for ministry. Maybe something someone told us a long time ago that we've never been able to shake off, or a truth about ourselves that we think will never change. Some of the lies I struggle with are, "I don't have value, and no one really cares they're just being nice". I have two choices, I can either counter these lies with the truth or dwell on them until I believe them and become withdrawn and useless. God should be the one who determines my worth; not other people. 1 peter 2:4 "Coming to Him as to a living stone, rejected by men, but in the sight of God chosen and precious." Jesus' worth was not determined by what people thought of him. It was God that gave him value. He was chosen and precious. John 15:9 says "As the Father loved me, I also have loved you." I am valued and loved more than I will ever understand. One of my favorite passages of scripture is Matthew10:29-31 "Are not two sparrows sold for a copper coin? And not one of them falls to the ground apart from your Father's will. But the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Do not fear therefore; you are of more value than many sparrows." I love these verses because Jesus is like a father explaining something to his children and I always imagine Him smiling as he says, "Don't worry, you're worth more to me than a bird." That verse makes me smile and love Him more. The problem isn't that I don't think enough of myself, but that I don't think enough of God. Another of my favorite passages of Scripture is Romans 5:7-9 " For scarcely for a righteous man will one die; yet perhaps for a good man someone would even dare to die. But God demonstrated His own love toward us, that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Much more then, having now been justified by His blood, we shall be saved from wrath through Him.(I hate it when people only quote verse 8) My focus should be on Him, not what other people think or trying to gain approval. If our purpose is to glorify God and enjoy Him forever, we can't do that if we focus on ourselves and the lies. I need to understand and accept God's love and and purpose for my life and let His love come out in me. If only I could comprehend the depth of God's love!

     There's a  song called The Voice of Truth. It was what inspired me to write this post. The song talks about not listening to the voice that tells us that we have failed in the past and will never amount to anything, but to listen to the voice that is telling us to have faith and courage to trust God instead. We need to identify the lies we believe and fight against them with the voice of truth.

Slow Down

     I don't like to be busy. In fact, if I have a really busy day or week I get frustrated. I haven't decided yet if this a good quality or not. I have things to do, but I am not a busy person. I don't care if I get stopped at a red light and I'm not annoyed when we catch the train, in fact, I'm excited the kids get to see it and that I have more time to listen to music in my van. I'm usually early to everything and in no hurry to get to places and appointments. Sometimes I feel guilty that I enjoy so many moments during the week. It seems like a lot of us are just too busy trying to get to the weekends that we don't enjoy anything in between. I know sometimes that can't be helped, and some of  us don't have the option of slowing down. There's nothing wrong with saying no or putting something off for a better time. Just because I can fit in one more thing doesn't mean I should and if I try to take on too much something always suffers. I think this could be a bad quality because I hesitate to get involved in activities and the kids don't play sports, because I don't want to be on the go all the time. I want to savor the experiences of each day. I'm sure some can be incredibly busy and still find quiet moments to enjoy. I am not one of those people.

    When I run I want to give it 100% physically and mentally. I don't want to look at the time and say, "ok, I have 35 min. then I have to stop so I can have time to get to the next thing", and then be so distracted by the other activities that I don't enjoy the time spent running. When I was running last fall, there was a beautiful red leaf that had fallen perfectly to the side of the running trail. It looked like it was on display for anyone who was observant enough to notice. It was there for a couple weeks untouched and unmoved. I wondered if God put it there just for me to appreciate every time I ran past it and point me to Him once again. Slow down,enjoy life, be more observant. Last week when I was running I saw one of my friends sitting outside enjoying some coffee and a good book. When we get too busy for those moments we are missing out on something really important. It's good to accomplish things but there is more to life than accomplishment; there's life. There must be balance.

    While working on this blog I was offered a really great job opportunity. Five years from now I would have considered it, but now is just not the right time. I was taken aback that they even thought of me for the position. It would have been challenging and exciting, but I just don't want the hours and responsibility right now. I think I have a good balance between work and and play,being gone and being home. I'm really happy with the way things are in my life right now, why mess with that?

"I don't believe that good work is ever done in a hurry." C.S. Lewis

When Pride Keeps Us From Hearing

  Mark 4:9- And He said to them, "He who has ears to hear, let him hear!"


  So... if a tree fell in the forest, and no one was around to hear it, would it make a sound?  I say, no, it would not produce sound; it would produce sound waves. There would have to be someone present with ears for the sound waves to be received as sound. I think sometimes I listen like someone without ears. I let the sound waves pass by me and remain unaffected by them. I think pride is what is ultimately keeping me from hearing.

  I feel like I'm just beginning to understand grace. He's been telling me for years in His still, small voice, but I didn't really hear Him. I say "just beginning to understand", because if I fully understood I would love my neighbor as myself and I know I don't. It's easy for me to spend money on myself for something I want, but very difficult to take that same money and give it to someone else instead. I give money that I have set aside to give, but parting with a loved possession or with money that I was planning to spend on myself or my family in order to meet someone's needs it quite different. I know He's trying to talk to me, but I have to put off my pride so I can put on my ears otherwise I can't hear Him. God talks to us in many ways, through the Bible, preaching, strong Christian friends, music, nature, the Holy Spirit. Am I really hearing Him, or am I just letting the sound waves pass me by?  Is my pride preventing me from using my ears to hear the still, small voice of God? Maybe I'm afraid to hear Him, because I don't want to give up something I love, or maybe I'm avoiding Him so I can remain ignorant.

1 Kings 19:11-12 Then He said, "Go out and stand on the mountain before the Lord." And behold, the Lord passed by, and a great and strong wind tore into the mountains and broke the rocks in pieces before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind; and after the wind an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake; and after the earthquake a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire; and after the fire a still small voice.