Tuesday, April 14, 2015

Healing in His Wings

 Malachi 4:2-But for you who fear my name, the sun of righteousness shall rise with healing in its wings. You shall go out leaping like calves from the stall.

This verse is a prophecy about the coming Messiah. The word translated to wings is also the same word as tassels. The Jewish people wore tassels on the hems of their garments. Jesus would have worn that type of garment. The lady with the issue of blood that touched the hem of His garment to be healed knew the prophecy from Malachi and recognized Jesus as the Messiah and knew He would have healing in his wings- tassels- hem of His garment. That's the faith that healed her. The faith that He was the Messiah.

Just Look at Me and Listen

My eleven year old daughter has to get her blood drawn. I listen as she screams, "Anything but this! No, please don't! I just want it to be a normal day!" I think,"she doesn't know what real suffering is."  I tell her it's for her good. I try to explain it to her. I tell her it will happen so fast. It's only a few seconds of her life. I'm frustrated that she won't look at me. She won't hear what I'm trying to say to her. Her eyes are on the needle and her thoughts on the anticipation of pain. Based on her life experience and eleven year old knowledge of the world, getting a shot is the worst thing that can happen to her.

I think about my fears- cancer, terrorism, death of a child, Christian persecution. "Lord, please anything but this! Make it stop. The suffering is too great!" He smiles at me with compassion and thinks, "Child, you don't know what real suffering is. You don't understand how this all works together for your good." He says, "Yes, there will be pain, but the suffering is so short compared to eternity." He is frustrated that I won't keep my eyes on Him. "Why won't you listen to my words and find comfort?"


Saturday, April 11, 2015

I Love You More Than Chocolate- My Experience With Lent

I always thought lent was a predominately Catholic observance done in order gain favor with God. I thought of it as a "work of righteousness".   I was actually brought up around spiritual leaders who made fun of those with the ashes on their foreheads and those who participated in Lent. After moving down South I learned that other Christian denominations participated, but still didn't really know what it meant. It seems like most people give up chocolate or FB. I wondered if it was more of an act of self control and will power or if it could be a sacrifice offering to God done out of love.  The more I researched it and observed it in people I knew the more it weighed on my heart to observe it myself. I love Easter. It's the holiest of all holidays. All of Christianity rests on the resurrection. I wanted to celebrate Easter in a deeper more worshipful way. Maybe participating in Lent was that way. I asked questions and talked to people and did research on line to figure out how Lent could be worship. I had 2 problems standing in my way. 1. If people knew that I was participating I would become self righteous and 2. If I give something up I would likely replace it with something else just as binding.  I thought this was really beautiful -" the act of giving up will naturally cause you to go to God when you face temptation, whether it be money, time, or food. Think about something binding YOU. Commit to change and when you are tempted, ask God to remove the temptation and trust in the Holy Spirit. It's a beautiful way to lean on God and deny self."

It's Feb 18. The traditional first day of Lent. I want to do this and God has been laying this on my heart for two years and He gave me not only one, but two things to give up. I want to commit, but I'm afraid I won't be able to do it. God gave me His life and daily grace and if I can't give these two things up for a time, how weak I am.

I'm a week in. I'm struggling today thinking about how much longer I have. It's kind of like running a marathon without training for it. It's something that seems impossible and in fact I know it is because I've tried on my own relying on will power and determination to give these things up and failed. My purpose is to give up these two things as a sacrifice. For me, this is a time of fasting, repentance, moderation, self reflection and worship. I've been disciplined to get up earlier, before 5 to devote more time to read Scripture, but I'm also trying let the Spirit lead rather than try to lead the Spirit. It would be typical for me to schedule time for worship and then get frustrated when the feelings weren't there. I've found myself worshiping in unusual places. The zumba instructor ended the class with "Overwhelmed" and yes, I worshiped in zumba class. I also felt led to read the Gospels.

I'm really thinking about adding these 2 things back into my life. It seems like giving them up has been very self centered. It's been good for me to give them up for a time because there was a lack of self control and a habitual dependence but I don't see how it's drawing me closer to God.  I have been getting up earlier to have more time for Scripture reading and I do feel like that is preparing me for Easter. I just finished reading the book of Matthew and I've been reading a lot of lent centered devotionals on line. 

I felt very frustrated and only lasted a week and a half. I feel like the disciples who couldn't even stay awake as Jesus prayed in the Garden. I still want to practice some form of Lent to prepare my heart for Easter, but I'm not sure how. I've been studying Acts and there were some Christian Jews who still participated in the Old Testament traditions after their conversion and it was okay for them to do it. In fact, being converted probably gave the traditions more meaning and they did it out of love, but they were considered weaker brothers because they needed them. I'm not sure what to take away from my experience.

Children in Heaven

Sometimes it makes me sad to think that there will be no babies and little children in Heaven not to say that babies and children don't go to Heaven when they die, but we will be ageless and there will be no marriage or reproduction. I believe that the things of this world are shadows of more perfect things to come. God loved to use object lessons in the Old Testament to prepare the people for Christ and the new covenant and when Jesus came He spoke in parables to teach the people of greater spiritual meaning. Marriage is a picture of Christ's relationship with the church. It's something earthly we can understand that points to something greater. Obviously, we have to have children so the human race doesn't die off, but we didn't have to have a loving, nurturing relationship with them. Why did God choose that for us? Maybe only to teach us more about His love for us. Maybe our children are a great object lesson. Imagine the relationship between God and Adam and Eve before the fall. Imagine how they walked and talked to each other and all the questions they had for their creator as He parented them. Quite often when new parents are asked what God has taught them with the arrival of their first baby they will say they understand God's love so much more. There is suffering to bring them life. There is sacrificial love. Children don't understand the extent of the love of the parents. It breaks the parents heart to correct the child, but the child sees it as cruel and unfair. Many of the decisions of the parents are based on the child's needs and wants. Parents love watching their children grow and experience new things. Parents love to give gifts and relish in the anticipation of giving them. There is so much that points to the love of Christ toward us. Imagine if we could love without selfishness, a double standard or regret. Imagine children who could understand the extent of our love with gratitude, humility and obedience. That's what the parent/ child relationship will be like in Heaven.

Thursday, February 19, 2015

There is Always HOPE

It's easy to listen to the news and weep for the persecuted people in the world, to be overcome with grief, throw your hands up and pray for Jesus to come back and end it for good, to live in fear, wondering how much worse it will get, wondering when it will come to America, wondering if there is no hope.We live in a nation founded on Christianity with a leader who mocks it. I worry about my kids. What was I thinking? What kind of existence have I brought them into!   They have no idea of the horrific cruelty going on in this world that appears so safe to them. Often well meaning people will post things on social media to create awareness of the state of this world and I think in reality it creates more fear and hopelessness, at least it does for me. At times I awake in a near panic and have to pray myself back to sleep.

This is what God has been teaching me through all of this. I read that the Christian men from Egypt were asked to deny Christ before they were killed and they wouldn't. In fact, they died singing. God kept His promise. He gave them enough grace exactly when they needed it. Not to say they weren't afraid, but they knew in a matter of moments they would be with Christ and they died praising Him just like the Apostles- just like Stephen when he was being stoned to death while Paul stood by and watched.  They experienced the same strength by the same God. 

The Babylon captivity was a scary and seemingly hopeless time for the Jews. Do you know what Jeremiah told the fearful people? "The world is going to end. All hope is lost!" No, he told them to keep living life. He told them God has a hope and a future for them. 

Every time in the history of the world when Christians have been under persecution, more people turn to God. If these things were being done quietly they wouldn't have the impact that they are having. He can bring great good out of persecution. He's done it before. Where is our faith that He can do it again?

In a more personal way it has renewed my desire to point my kids toward Christ. I was getting lazy in that department and now I'm making it more of a priority. It has also given me opportunity to cry out to Jesus. It has driven me to Scripture and self examination.  He has reminded me that He has not given us this spirit of fear. He wants us to live with hope and endurance and faith. I don't think God wants us to throw in the towel and sit around waiting for Him to come back. He doesn't want us to preach doom and gloom to each other. He does want us to weep with those who weep and He wants us to be broken over sin, but He also wants us to lift each other up to do good works. God's not dead, and as of this moment, we have our religious freedom so seize the day!


"These are the words of the letter that Jeremiah the prophet sent from Jerusalem to the surviving elders of the exiles, and to the priests, the prophets, and all the people, whom Nebuchadnezzar had taken into exile from Jerusalem to Babylon......
  
     It said:  “Thus says the Lord of hosts, the God of Israel, to all the exiles whom I have sent into exile from Jerusalem to Babylon: Build houses and live in them; plant gardens and eat their produce.  Take wives and have sons and daughters; take wives for your sons, and give your daughters in marriage, that they may bear sons and daughters; multiply there, and do not decrease.  But seek the welfare of the city where I have sent you into exile, and pray to the Lord on its behalf, for in its welfare you will find your welfare.  For thus says the Lord of hosts, the God of Israel: Do not let your prophets and your diviners who are among you deceive you, and do not listen to the dreams that they dream,  for it is a lie that they are prophesying to you in my name; I did not send them, declares the Lord.
 “For thus says the Lord: When seventy years are completed for Babylon, I will visit you, and I will fulfill to you my promise and bring you back to this place. For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will hear you. You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart.  I will be found by you, declares the Lord, and I will restore your fortunes and gather you from all the nations and all the places where I have driven you, declares the Lord, and I will bring you back to the place from which I sent you into exile."


Wednesday, February 11, 2015

Thoughts on American Gods

I recently read Gaiman's book, "American Gods" .   It's about the ancient gods coming to America with the people that believed in them and they go to war with the modern gods such as technology, sex, money etc.  The ancient gods need people to continue to believe in them to stay "alive".  I thought is was a really interesting concept.  We tend to look down on these primitive people who worshiped gods in ancient times. "How foolish to worship a statue and sacrifice lives! We are a much more evolved people now." But, we aren't so different with our modern gods.

What about the god of food. This god fights for our attention. They all do. This god will show up on Pinterest in the form of recipes, at parties, when we're alone. This god comforts us, celebrates with us, keeps us company, helps us deal with stress.  Sometimes this god is delivered to us by a well meaning friend or co worker.  This god demands more and more until it consumes us.

 I watched the documentary, "Maxed Out" a couple years ago. It's about credit card debt. There were stories of people who committed suicide because they were so far in debt that felt there was no hope. They sacrificed their lives for the god of consumerism.

What about church? That's a good god to worship, right? You give your life over to the church. You get involved in everything you can. You are there whenever the doors are open unless you're sick, but sometimes even that won't keep you away.  Your children grow up and you find you don't really have a relationship with them. You realize you offered your children as a sacrifice to the god of church ministry.

 What if we worship our children? We pour our lives into them. We neglect our health- no time for exercise, sleep or eating what we should.  We grow up to find out we sacrificed our financial future, our strong, healthy bodies, our relationship with our spouse.  "How do we pay for retirement? Where did my health go? Where are the children?  Where are my friends?"

 I use these examples, but there are many gods- education, furthering our careers, the internet, sports. It's a battle for our lives. They promise to fulfill us and satisfy our desires, but they just want to consume us. They lie. If we stop worshiping them, they cease to exist. They let go. We're free.

We are all designed to worship. It's impossible for us not to worship something. Even Atheist worship a god of some form- perhaps humanity, ambition or life itself.We all live for something

There is only one God who doesn't go away when we stop believing. The God of the Bible is also demanding. He demands a perfect life and He demands justice. But in His grace He provided the perfect life in Himself to take our place. He understands our weakness. He still wants our life. He paid a great price for it, but He says, "Come to me all who are weary and I will give you rest." Above all, He commands us to love Him and love others. He is the only god who wants us to live a balanced life with all things in moderation, and in doing that, all other gods die.

Where do our thoughts wander? Where do we spend our money? Those are the modern gods who are fighting the hardest. Are they worth it?

I appreciated Gaiman's book because it made me think in a different way and brought the modern gods to life for me. I feel myself being pulled in different directions. I tend to get obsessive or over indulgent in one area of my life only to get that under control to become obsessive and over indulgent in another area. How do you escape when you feel a modern god pulling you in, taking over your life?  I don't recommend the book, "American Gods" to everyone due to some of the content, but I appreciated it because of the creativity and the depth. It made me think and that's what I'm looking for when I open a book.

Sunday, January 18, 2015

Bitter November

It's Sanctity of Life Sunday, and here's my story.  About twelve years ago we were trying to adopt a baby.  My husband and I worked with a girl who made it her mission to find us one.  She went to school with a girl who found herself very unexpectedly pregnant so our friend, Brie gave her our adoption profile.  It was a booklet our adoption agency had us make with pictures and information about ourselves to give to birth moms to look through as they struggled to give their babies their best chance at life.  We knew that she received it and looked through all our pictures.  Unfortunately, Brie had to tell us that her friend decided to have an abortion. It was heart wrenching to know that it was going to happen and we were completely powerless to stop it.  This girl cheated on her boyfriend and got pregnant and she didn't want anyone to know, especially her boyfriend.  The abortion happened the day before Thanksgiving. I wonder if I'll meet this person in Heaven some day.  I wonder what I'll say.  Every year I quietly grieve this loss of life as we all gather together to eat our Thanksgiving meals. I wonder if anyone else grieves for this baby.  He or she would be about twelve now and could have been one of my own- my oldest, but instead....